Office Crush - A Year Later

So...it has been almost exactly a year since I have posted a blog here. I have not been a very good blogger!

I left you with the mention of my "office crush". Well, one year later...and guess what? Yes, I still have the crush. It will remain a crush. He is a married man and I have no desire to pursue anything like that. I don't play second string or runner-up. I want to be the ONE and ONLY. LOL

But it really does suck. It is kind of like finding out you have a soul mate, but someone else married him first! I don't think too much about this anymore. It will remain a little crush. I am keeping my eyes open for another great man that might actually be AVAILABLE. Know anyone? :)

Thank God...It Is Friday!

TGIF! I have never been so happy to use that acronym as I am today. This has been one of the longest weeks ever! I literally have had less than an hour's worth of work to do each day. Now, I know some people may be thinking that I should be happy about that and not complain, but guess what...I am complaining!You see, I am one of those people who likes to stay busy at work. I don't want to be tortured with stress and problems per say, but I also don't want to sit still just counting the seconds, minutes, hours until I go home. Your day is sooooooo much longer if you are consumed with nothing better to do than watch the clock. I would take a busier, fast flying day over that anytime.That is my rant for now. Stay tuned for the latest on my office crush! ;)

Marriage...Schmarriage

Is marriage the ultimate goal in life? Is it what defines success? I think not. However, it is a constant struggle to tell yourself that you are still a success and still worth something in a society that thinks marriage is the "prize." Until the sound of wedding bells is heard by all who know and love you...you will repeatedly get that same "awww....don't worry, you'll find someone" look. It is so frustrating! When people ask me, "Why aren't you married yet?", I want to punch them in the face. How is it that in this day and age you still receive no validation as an individual? I am not saying I don't believe in marriage or will never get married. I honestly have no idea where I will end up when it comes to this. What I do know is that I am not going to feel inadequate as a human being just because I don't have a man to call my husband. In fact, most of the time I take pride in the fact that I have not gotten married yet. I haven't settled for someone I knew I wouldn't want 10 years from now. I haven't tied myself to a life I am not ready for. I have not gaged my self worth on whether or not I have a man. I am an individual who is looking for someone to complement who I am, not define or complete me. I wish more women (and men) would realize that this world can be full of happiness and success without a significant other. Adding a great man or woman to your life should just be the sprinkles on your already delicous cupcake! ;)

Do I Really Think Too Much?

I seem to have this problem every now and then where I get too far inside my own head. Do you ever feel like you are driving yourself insane? I hope I am not alone in this, otherwise...I should be concerned. It is rather frustrating to have a mind that will often not SHUT OFF! People always ask me what has put me in this mood. I can never answer. There is no one particular trigger that sends me into this sullen, morose, contemplative mood. For as long as I can remember I have been one to go into "hermit mode" and spend days and sometimes weeks from being social. I read, I dream, I sleep, I sulk, I cry and of course...I THINK. Is there really such a thing as thinking too much?

It is sometimes hard to discern this mood from actual depression. But I have had my times of being on antidepressants. I have spent years on them and part of this behavior still exists within me. I have to wonder if I really am losing it? Or is this just part of the complex person I am?